Beauty in Chaos (self portrait series)

2018 has begun with some level of experimental creativity and a LOT of over-thinking! The usual "why am I doing this, what are my goals, why do I put a lot of time/money/energy into creating with no real intention/purpose for it" have all been playing on my mind!

I certainly realise that whilst I publish a lot of images that other people take of me (as a model), it is rare that I put much of my own work out there for others to see! For that reason, a 'new year's resolution' is to post more of my own work as an artist. So far I've started an Instagram account (@ScarlotRosePhotography) and plan to post more regular updates of my work here too. I'd also like to investigate 'exhibiting' my work and seeing it physically printed. With that in mind, a goal for the end of the year is to have enough content to look at creating my first photo-book. I have no plans on making this a saleable thing yet, more just a record of my evolution as an artist!

With all that said, below are my latest thoughts on my main project for 2018.

Last year I started working on a photography project called 'My side of the lens' where I took photographs of the photographers who photograph me, capturing all the behind the scenes chaos that people often don't see from the (usually unseen) perspective of a professional model. I plan to continue this series during my travels this year but have also begun expanding this project. I am thinking of possibly creating a photo book from this project that is split into three sections: 1. My side of the lens 2. A collection of images that I have taken but that keep the background in the final images continuing the "behind the scenes" style (still to be named) 3. A collection of self portraits titled "beauty in Chaos". The section 3. (Beauty in Chaos) is something I have been working on recently, I am attempting to capture more self portraits as I find this the most effective form of expression for me as I can control every aspect of the image (technical, subject and post-processing) and it also continues the idea of a unique perspective on a photoshoot, but this time capturing something completely unseen as often I am alone when I take self portraits. With this series, I aim to continue questioning the line between 'my personal self' and 'my professional (model) self'. This is one solution I have come up with that combines me in the mental state of 'Scarlot Rose' (as I am modelling for the images) but it also captures a glimpse into my 'real life' (outside of modelling) because these portraits are often taken at home and include some of my personal surroundings/belongings in the background.

The majority of these images have come out black and white after I have spent a long time debating how to 'edit'/post-process them. This choice has been something that I have deliberately put a lot of thought into because it also interrogates the line between "real" and "fantasy"* which is something I very much associate between the two personas I inhabit. Although some images do work well in colour, I find that particularly with this series which has a lot of 'clutter' (chaos) going on in the background, it can be a bit overwhelming aesthetically with the sheer volume of different colours, therefore I have chosen to keep things more simple in black and white - for me this shows that no one element 'stands out' or is highlighted with the use of colour making the viewer see the whole scene as the final image rather than just me as the model (ignoring anything outside of the 'backdrop').

Below are a few images I have begun working on this year: